Getting along with others, on and off the course
Getting along with others on a golf holiday can be stressful. Some golf groups we have met fit like a glove. They have been doing it together for years, if not decades.
But the composition of golf groups can rise and fall like the tides. Old people drop out, new ones come in. Some will be invited again, others you will never want to see again. But how do you still enjoy the golf trip when you may be in the process of weeding out the “incompatible” within the group? Ten tips here now.
1) Acceptance
All people are different. It is just your reaction to that difference that will make or break how you enjoy a trip. You need to accept how they are and work with that.
2) Control their listening
If a golf friend is doing something that is annoying you, you need to control their listening when dealing with it. If it is a rare skill but we all need to get the practice in. Would they be doing it if they they thought it was the wrong thing? Most probably not.
As Stephen Covey said in “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” seek to understand before being understood. Talk to them why they are doing it and then about how it is affecting you but never with the connotation that it is bad or wrong. Also if they do not see that is the wrong thing to do or say, be prepared to compromise. Avoid doing this when you have been drinking or in a bad temper. You are not at your best.
3)Pick the size of the group
When organising a golf trip, have in mind the size of the group that you want to manage and stick with that. Eight is a very common number for groups we organise trips for. Please bear in the mind that the more people you have, the more differences you are going to get.
4)Ease your way in if you are new to the group
If you are new to the travelling party, take it easy at first. Perhaps at first avoid telling your selection of bawdy jokes. Famously Tiger Woods when he first came to Australia in 1996 said to his playing partners “What is this?” as he rubbed his white sock up down his ankle. ” A black man taking off his condom!” . Maybe he was just a nervous kid but his playing partners thought at first he was a dick!
Don’t talk to much to others just about yourself and don’t inundate people with questions about themselves. If you are going to stir people, make sure they would laugh too!
5) Different budgets for different folks
Get acceptance within the group for what is the standard accepted within the group and therefore what the budget is going to be. What is one person’s comfortable and affordable, can be another’s “slumming it”.
Avoid getting begrudging acceptance of the budget because tensions will arise later in the trip. Have everyone enrolled . A little compromise might work.
6)Clarify the 19th hole expectations
One way to avoid friction off the course is to set what is the standard that is acceptable. I recently had a group from Royal Sydney Golf Club who stayed across the road from the Kingston Hotel in Canberra. The hotel has very good pub food. They didn’t go there once. Another group I had staying in the area went there three nights in a a row!
This is all fine because there was consensus about what type of hospitality the group would accept. There can be problems when some people do not want to go out every night or do not want to split the bill. These things need to be communicated and sorted before the tour. Some groups appoint a hospitality co-ordinator who takes that role on within the group.
7) Q.T.A. (Quality Time Apart)
This can be helpful to ease any tensions in the group. Some groups organise their golf groups to not have room mates playing with each other. Some groups will split up and go to different types of hospitality to cater for different budgets or tastes. There should room given for this.
There maybe some loners in the group who just want some time by themselves to walk around the lake. The group should be cognisant of this and perhaps give space without any comment for this to happen.
8) Organise rooms to be shared by known compatible people
No hard and fast rules on this one. However generally people who have the same tidiness level should be sharing. But also some untidy people do not want to another layer of mess if sharing with another untidy person.
There also other factors in compatibility for a golf trip. What they like to watch on TV, what are their common other interests or basically how they get along. Sleep issues seems to be a big one as well.
9) Be aware of others on the golf course
One way to bring tensions off the course is not being a good golf partner. Be aware of others and how they are going. If you are walking, don’t leave someone walking alone all the time. Help others look for their ball.
There is also seems to be a trend with the emphasis on “ready golf” where people will find their ball, hit it and keep walking. This is regardless of others who might be looking for their ball. As a result they may get in the way of the players in their own group and they are no help being down the fairway. A group will always play at the pace of the slowest player.
10)A bad attitude...meet it with a generous one.
If someone is negative or in a bad mood all the time, meet that with a generous attitude. So says Charlotte Russell, a clinical psychologist and founder of The Travel Psychologist who says “that it’s the small gestures of appreciation that matter. Compliment your friend on how they look, offer to go and get the drinks, ask them if they want to choose the restaurant tonight,” says Russell. “When we are generous and grateful in relationships, this can prompt more positive behaviour back.”
If managing a group is hard enough work for you and getting them to the starting line of a golf tour is “like herding a bunch of cats” then let us take the hassle out of organising your next golf trip. Go to our contact page and call us, send an email or fill out enquiry form about your next golf trip.
